My Second Cult

It is weighing heavy on my heart to pray for pastors who have misled me. There are two pastors in particular who did this, but thankfully I only stayed with their church for a year. I know now that I was crazy to even stay at their church.

When I was visiting their church to consider joining, the head pastor told someone in front of the congregation, "For now on, you will take what I say as a command." I thought, Romans 13. God will bless us for it. This is what I have always known. If I wasn't obedient to man, I would consider it disobedience. That was what I was taught anyway. By now, you are probably wondering and yes, let me confirm your suspicions. This was my second cult.

One day, we were having a luncheon for the leaders at my pastor's house. I was considered a leader in training. I was supposed to bring the main course so I decided to bring chicken wings. The pastor's wife encouraged me to buy them from the store to save money. I agreed. I was a college student and didn't want to spend too much money on all of the people that would be there for the meeting. When I got there, she advised me that she bought Kentucky Fried Chicken for everyone. She just wanted to follow my lead. I didn't understand that, but in my mind, I reasoned. I thought maybe she didn't think I would bring enough. Second, the chicken I bought may not fill everyone up. Because of the reasoning, I didn't say anything or express my frustrations. No one ate my chicken.

I remember when I felt the Lord told me to take part in the kid's ministry. This experience didn't last long. I didn't care if I was in disobedience to the Lord or not. The kids at that church acted like hooligans and hardly anything was structured. I made it clear to the pastors that I didn't want to help with children's church. It is not the kids fault though. I blame it on the parents. Bless their hearts.

A few months later, I felt like I needed to start looking for another church so I wasn't planning on going to church at all. My pastor called me on a wednesday night and told me that God had something special for me. I believed him and I went to church. When church started, he said, "Pepper, would you watch the kids today?" I reasoned. I said to myself, I haven't done this in a long time and the other people at church are probably tired of watching the rascals, so for one night, I can do it.

I said yes and when I was outside watching the kids, I felt like he did that with intent. I didn't understand. I was so confused because I knew that something wasn't right. Was it me? That is what I always think when something happens in my life. What did I do to deserve this because I probably did do something? I left church that night feeling so angry. I prayed a lot and asked God what I did wrong.

A few weeks later, my pastor had another gathering at his house for the leaders. He wanted to serve us. As usual, my pastor snapped his fingers at me as a way of getting me to come over to where he was. I never wanted to express my frustrations with him because he had an anger issue. His temper could change at a moment's notice. I made adjustments to that attitude. So many people in my life had anger issues. I walked over to my pastor and he explained to me that I was in a period of testing. He did ask me to watch the kids that night with intent and his wife did buy the chicken with intent to see what I was going to do. How was Pepper Jackson going to react?

I couldn't take it anymore, I emailed the pastor and I told him this was unacceptable and I will be praying about what my next step should be. He released me and told me that he wanted me to do what God wanted me to do. There you have it! I left that church. I still keep in contact with a few of the members. It only took two weeks for me to find a church home. God is good! It was exactly what I needed at that time.

I have been praying for the kid's ministry at my old church. Great news! They had to shut the kid's ministry down because of lack of funds. They are actually meeting in the pastor's home because they couldn't afford to keep the building they were staying in. God, You are so good and worthy to be praised. If it is your will, I pray that you would tear that ministry down. Change the people involved in that ministry. Have mercy on them because they really don't know or understand how they are hurting people and misleading them. They just don't.